Betrayal. Pain. Guilt. Shame. There’s been infidelity. And now you need to repair your relationship.
Both you and your spouse are probably experiencing a lot of different emotions right now. And there are likely a lot of questions that are unanswered. Chances are, right now your biggest question is how do I we get past this and trust each other again.
Unfortunately, there’s no real easy answer to that question, but we can work together to find out. Couples who’ve experienced infidelity are going to go through a lot of ups and downs. You may experience some days where you feel intense love, passion and trust. All of the secrets are out and you’re ready to move forward. But the next day, your suspicions may be up, and you may be wondering what the other person is doing.
You’ve probably tried a lot of things by now.
You’ve probably installed tracking apps on each other’s phones. You’re probably checking phone records to see who each other is calling and texting. You’re looking at their phone every time it lights up. You’re wondering if they’re really going to work every morning when they leave.
The problem is that no matter what you’ve done, the two of you probably don’t feel any better. Yes, you’ve reached the point where you’ve decided you want to move forward and move past the infidelity. But now you’re stuck, and you’re not sure how to move forward.
You both have some work to do.
It’s common for us to work with couples where the person who has been cheated on believes the cheater holds all the responsibility in repairing the relationship. Unfortunately, both partners have to work together to move beyond the infidelity. The person who cheated has to work on creating emotional distance from their affair partner, and the person who has been cheated on must work through their betrayal trauma. For a couple to successfully move forward, both partners must commit to making healthy, positive changes in their relationship.
For some couples, this process is quick. Within a few weeks, they feel better and that they’re ready to handle the future of their marriage on their own. For many, though, this process can take months. It’s important for couples to understand they can’t rush this process. It’s equally important for the person who cheated to understand that while the affair is over for them and they have no intention of going back, the person who was cheated on will need time to recover and process that trauma.
There’s unfortunately no “normal” for any couple experiencing the pain of infidelity, but we’re confident that you can find peace, freedom and healing to get your relationship back.
What to Expect
We suspect sharing all of your deepest, darkest secrets with a counselor is probably the last thing you want to do. In fact, just the thought of this process may put your stomach in nots. You may be worried about feeling judged and looked down upon. Those are normal reactions.
However, we can assure you, there’s nothing you’ll tell us that’ll make us think less of you. We’ve all messed up. We’ve all fallen short. We’ve all done things we’re not proud of. No matter what you’ve done, no matter what you’ve been through, you’re in a safe place to share your heart.
If you’ve made it this far and you’re ready to get started, you can schedule an appointment right here.
It’s important to remember that counseling isn’t a dirty word. And Christian counseling is the perfect opportunity to combine your faith with your goals in life. If your goal is getting better, and finding peace in your relationship, then you’re in the right place.
When you arrive, you’ll find a judgement-free zone. Some people have made mistakes, and some have been through really, REALLY bad stuff in their life. That’s okay. It’s not my place to judge what’s happened to you or what you’ve done; it’s our job to help you get your life back.
How it Works
To get started, simply schedule an appointment online. After scheduling, you’ll receive a confirmation email with details and directions to the office. At your first appointment, we’ll talk about the status of your relationship, and where you stand right now.
Next, we’ll talk about effective ways you can begin building trust in your broken relationship right now. Then, we’ll begin looking at ways to help you heal from the situation and ensure that you and your spouse can make the best step moving forward.
Because everyone is different, we can’t guarantee how many sessions you’ll need to come for, but we generally start meeting weekly with clients. Most clients come weekly until they start meeting their goals, and then we move to bi-weekly appointments, followed by monthly appointments, and then at the end we’ll schedule a three-month follow-up Usually, we see people for 18-20 sessions between weekly, bi-weekly, and monthly appointments.
Our goal is to help you get to feeling better quickly, so therapy doesn’t have to be a long-term committment.
Kansas Corley, LCC, CTC
Kansas Corley, Licensed Pastoral Counselor and Certified Temperament Counselor, works with couples at the Owensboro Center for Marriage, helping them find healing following infidelity. Kansas has helped countless couples move beyond the infidelity to a marriage better than they could have ever imagined.
Schedule an Appointment. Get Your Marriage Back on Track.
The cost of a 90-minute intiial consultation is $115.